Friday, 1 October 2010

Good parent, wicked witch, or a bit of both?

My partner and I are going abroad this afternoon for two nights, leaving our young son (two and three quarters) with two grandparents and three carers.  It's the first time we've left him for so long, and the fact of leaving the country makes me extra nervous.  To try to calm my nerves, then, I decided to do a reading on the weekend, using the new Tarot of the Vampyres from British illustrator Ian Daniels.

Now is the time for... the Seven of Knives

My first impression here is, yes, I'm doing something wicked and then turning my back on it.  However, calming my inner drama queen a little, I see that despite the mess on the floor, there is also a key.  It may seem like disarray to me - last minute notes about various things my Baby Boy needs, quickly washing stuff that will (I'm suddenly convinced) be absolutely necessary - and yet it is also a key to new experiences, for him and for us, and to a bit of freedom.  There is no treachery and deception here, but perhaps a feeling of getting away with something, of sneaking away and leaving others to tidy up.  The waxing moon tattooed on her arm makes me think of the possibility of growth and expansion from this, for all involved.  A bit more independence for BB (no longer such a baby, after all).  And for me, as I'll confess I still find it hard to set any limits on what I should do for him.  It will also be a chance for the grandparents to show how capable they are, and to have some time with him to themselves.

Now is not the time for... the Seven of Grails

An interesting juxtaposition here between the two Sevens.  Now is the time for the Seven of Knives, equivalent to Swords, the suit of air, intellect, the mind.  A reminder that knives are often, as in this image, double-edged, cutting both ways, and so we must try to see more perspectives.  In contrast, the Seven of Grails, traditionally Cups, shows a medusa-headed woman dancing in trance, with a staircase disappearing down behind her, and an apple tree in the background.  Traditionally associated with daydreaming or being overwhelmed by emotions around making choices, here the message I see is more one that now is not the time to let myself sink into emotion, get entranced by my own sentiments.  I need to stay more with the logical, rational side of myself, avoiding the over-excitability of my panicked parent.  There is wisdom to be gained here, but not by plunging into the depths of dark emotions: worry, guilt, self-recrimination, distrust of others. 

Guidance... the Two of Knives

More Knives energy, yet traditionally this card is associated with being unwilling, or unable, to make a choice between two ideas.  Perhaps this is suggesting that in going away this weekend I don't really have to choose between being a good parent and being an individual with my own projects, plans and desires.  The two blades seem almost joined, two halves of a pair.  I notice that she also has a crescent moon on her neck clasp.  Growth comes through allowing myself to see that the two aspects aren't actually opposing concepts, but can perhaps both be allowed.  Perhaps, also, with the blades crossed at her heart, that if I can hold both ideas at the same time, I can become more open and loving to myself, my partner and my son. Holding that tension between two me's (parent and person) and not being able to see what's going on (so, no texting my mum at 3am just to be sure!), will be hard, but it is also the path of growth.

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