Thursday, 4 November 2010

Reading on 2nd half of my course

Today I start the second half of the course on eating disorders with Deanne Jade.  I decided to draw some cards to look at what I need to know about these next 4 days.  I used the Tarot of Vampyres by Ian Daniels, a current favourite deck.

Now is the time for... the Prince of Scepters

Traditionally, this would be the Knight of Wands.  In this version, I still see someone who is passionately engaged with what he does, and who moves quickly to achieve things.  The warning that it's easy to burn out is highlighted by the pale sun in the sky behind him - can anyone say "turn to ash"?

How I read this is that I will need to put my enthusiasm into this time to make the most of it, to remind myself of why I'm doing the course.  However, especially given I've been up since 5.20 am and couldn't get back to sleep, I will have to ration my energy quite carefully.  Still, it seems like a case of getting out what I put in, so energy will be well spent, and I can sleep next week ;-)

Now is not the time for... the Four of Skulls

This card is equivalent to the Four of Pentacles in regular decks.  This image adds some interesting variants to my ideas around holding onto material things or hoarding your resources.  There seems to be the suggestion that the armoured figure is guarding the woman.  Does he see her as his possession?  Or does she have him as her bodyguard slave?  Certainly, there is a lot of stability and closed-off-ness.

The message I get here is that now isn't the time to try to hold on to specific relationships, nor to try to protect myself from what I will be confronted by.  I need to be open, rather than guarded, to allow myself to experience and let go, rather than wall myself behind old habits.  This chimes well with the following card.

Guidance... the Five of Grails

In an interesting twist on the traditional Five of Cups idea of being trapped in emotions that hold us to the past, here we see a mermaid sitting mournfully by the side of the water.  She feels out of place, trapped, and longing to return to past emotions and situations.  It reminds me of the fairytale of the little mermaid, who asked to be made human because she fell in love with a mortal, but had to make him love her or lose her life to the sorceress who changed her.  At points in her story, she longed to return to how things had been before she made her pact, to the comfort of home.  Also, she feared she had lost her love irrevocably.  However, this card is a reminder that we can never go back to the past.

As guidance, then, I see this card telling me not to get stuck in thinking about how things were, or the reasons why things happened as they did in the past.  If I want to move forward into a new way of being, I have to focus on where I am now, and where I want to go, rather than staying with blame from what was and feeling like I cannot change what is.  It may require looking at how I am using my intent - I notice her pentagram which is the wrong way up, signifying being stuck in the material rather than moving forward guided by spirit.  So, I need to think big, rather than look to the past, wallow in emotion, or trap myself in the merely material.

In terms of this course, it has been bringing up a lot of stuff about the past.  However, this tells me that I have to move beyond that and focus on the future, both in terms of myself as well as thinking about using this to help others.

No comments:

Post a Comment