This morning I was up at 2.40am with Big Boy, an unfortunately regular occurrence. After I had managed to get him back to sleep, at least for a short while, I decided to do a reading on a doctor’s appointment we have next week, which I hope may help. Drawing from the Wildwood Tarot (illustrated by Will Worthington), I used the three-card Pathway Spread from the companion book (co-authored by Mark Ryan and John Matthews).
Situation: Ace of Arrows - The Breath of Life
This card seems appropriate in a number of ways. Firstly, part of the issue with BB is that he risks not being able to breathe. So yes, I’m hoping that this appointment will bring him renewed potential to breathe and live.
Secondly, the card suggests a new idea or information. At the appointment we should get results on a number of tests run back in May, so that seems appropriate. And the card isn’t just telling me what I already know, in the sense that we already had one appointment, which failed to provide any new information at all.
However, this card, as an ace, reminds me too that even if we do get some useful new information, it will only be a first step in what will hopefully be a new part of the path we have been walking for a while.
As background, in March 2009 one doctor recommended a particular operation for BB. We didn’t like her (nicknaming her Dr. God-Complex) and didn’t like her suggestions. Another of her recommendations would definitely have been negative for both BB and for us, and all the medical professionals we’ve seen since agree that it wasn’t necessary - lucky for me as I fought it tooth and nail, to the point where Dr. God-Complex wrote to me saying she had reported me to their legal and social services team for ignoring medical advice!
So, this isn’t a new issue. However, since February 2010 we’ve been seeing various doctors and having different tests done, trying out different medications, and so on. Having narrowed down the possible issues, the most recent tests will hopefully be the last ones necessary for them to give us some suggestions about what to actually do. That doesn’t mean we’ll be able to do it then and there - far from it! Hence the Ace-ness of this situation. Hopefully, though, it will give us the information to know where to go from here.
Action To Take: 11 - The Woodward
What this card says to me is that I need to be protective without being aggressive. The Woodward defends his territory. However, he tempers the strength of his mountain lion companion, bringing his mature wisdom to bear. So, no rushing into anything, and no getting mouthy with the doctors - sometimes a challenge for me. However, I do think I need to be firm about what is important to us. For example, if the consultant recommends an operation, we want it carried out by a different surgeon, who we trust more.
I also notice the eagle flying high in the sky above him. A reminder to keep some perspective? It’s important to be aware of all the details, but I also have to be able to see the big picture - some of these decisions will affect BB for the rest of his life.
Action Not To Take: 5 - The Ancestor
I was rather taken aback when I first saw this card. Although I normally don’t much like Major Arcana V - The Hierophant - I’m actually rather partial to this depiction.
The first message I take from this is not to be hidebound by ideas from the past. After some further thought I also remembered that, back in 2009, my mother spoke to a shaman friend of hers. This lovely woman did a vision journey about BB’s situation, and thought that a particular operation wouldn’t be beneficial for him. However, more than two years on, I wonder whether that has changed. Should the doctors recommend it, I don’t think I’d fight to protect her vision, and this card seems to support this feeling. It’s time to let go of ideas and truths that may have been right in the past. We’ve been through a lot in the last two years, and I’m willing to put some trust in medical recommendations, because things certainly aren’t working very well the way they are now.
Overall, this reading leaves me feeling fairly hopeful, even though I know that hope is a rather double-edged sword on which I have cut myself in the past.