Tarot of the Silicon Dawn (Lo Scarabeo 2011, by Egypt Urnash) we have the Two of Swords.
The image makes me think of a cross between Kill Bill and a spaghetti Western ;) Rather than a woman with swords crossed over her heart and a blindfold over her eyes, sitting in front of a body of water, we have this. A woman in a wedding dress holds two crossed swords, points down, as though weighed down with defeat. Behind her we see the silhouette of a man a la Clint Eastwood - hat, poncho, boots and pistol. In the background, a Wild West Town, with black clouds looming over it all. I have the sense of her being momentarily brought up short, perhaps taking a breather. At any moment, though, she could re-find her direction and energy and suddenly turn, lifting the swords and going into attack mode.
Today, what this card makes me think of is a situation that happened a couple of days ago. For some time now I've defined my spiritual beliefs a certain way. I liked having a "name tag", a hook to hang what I practise on and the feeling of being part of a community. Chatting with Carla of Rowan Tarot, she recommended a forum I'd never heard of, so I went to take a look. The first thing I saw was that the "name tag" I have been holding for myself was thoroughly reviled and mocked :/ The forum moderators had posted a list of what they felt defined this name. At first glance, I agreed with about half of what they said were defining of this name, and which they disagreed with. So, I was left with a feeling of "Are my beliefs that wrong?" That someone I like and admire could think the exact opposite of me on something so fundamental felt very strange. I felt like I had gone to meet a new beau, only to be told that not only does this person not like you, they think you're stupid. It also made me question what I really do believe. Is it those things that were listed?
I have thought about this a lot over the last few days. I went back and looked over the list, and really thought about each item. I ended up considering that, out of 14 items, there is only one I would say an unconditional "Yes" to. A further five I sort of agree with, depending on how you look at it, but don't practice as they've been described. The remaining eight I said "No" to. Where it left me is rather like what I see in this card. I now have two opposing possibilities, but I'm disillusioned with both of them. The tag I had accepted no longer fits, but I'm not sure I really like this new idea I've been introduced to. It seems to me that they defined something very narrowly, and then reviled it for being narrow. And I disagree on at least one point absolutely. So, I'm left like this character, all dressed up, but nowhere to go.
Perhaps I can forge a new sword for myself - create my own definition, one that fits me properly. Or just accept that different people use the same word to mean quite disparate things. So, if someone reviles a word, that may just mean they are defining it differently from how I do.
I am grateful for the challenge to really think about what I believe in, so I can better understand myself.