All Hallows Tarot.
1) The Ghoul - what is the fear or issue at the centre of the question? Two of Cups
What I see here is a question - what do I really love? I have been worrying a lot recently about whether or not I am cut out to be a psychotherapist. I have also changed my mind about what to write my dissertation on. I see both of these questions here, and the need to follow my heart. When I look at the card, the woman holds a contract, raising the question - what am I willing to commit to? Ha, now that's a scary question!
2) The Zombie - what deadens you - stops you acting? X - The Wheel
I have certainly been feeling tangled and enmeshed, like the spiderweb on this card. So many threads to keep track of, so many different points of intersection. When I look at this card, I also notice the raven sitting above the spider - can anyone say "I feel like supper?" This makes me think of my fear of being judged and found wanting. However, it is also a reminder that normally the raven is seen as a benign messenger of spirit. Which raises the question - can I find the help, rather than the threat, in this situation? It is the threat, the looming fear of not being good enough, not being able to do what I need to do, that paralyses me, makes me question whether I should continue.
3) The Vampire - what revives you - will help you overcome this? King of Swords
So, what will help me? Well, just being a bit more clear-headed and rational about all of this. Perhaps thinking about the pros and cons of the different options. And also remembering that ultimately I am my own arbiter, not anyone else. The raven here is smaller, and is positioned so it looks almost like it's cawing in the King of Swords' ear. Can I listen to the messages of others, and of spirit, to take the good and the helpful from what they offer? And then decide for myself!
4) The Ghost - what lesson can you learn from the past? Three of Wands
This card reminds me that I have already put in a fair bit of work here, and am reaping some of the rewards already. I have almost completed the taught part of the Masters course. On top of that, I have also nearly finished all the written work on clients which I need to do. And the clients, that's the main point. I really enjoy working with people in this way, trying to help, acting as a support. It's the one aspect that keeps me balanced, the thing that reminds me why I'm doing everything else. I see these ravens as my past clients (one of whom I saw recently on public transport purely by chance, looking much more settled), coming to remind me that what I do has value.
5) The Jack-o-Lantern - what lights your way into the future? Page of Cups
Finally, what guides me moving forward? Here, the Page of Cups is looking in towards the central question, my fear that I don't know what to commit to. Yet her hair is green, the colour of life and growth, compared to the dark hair of the woman in the 2 of Cups. Her bowl seems full, indicating a feeling of emotional satisfaction. And her dress is bright blue, the colour of communication. I take all this to say that I need to trust to the process, recognising that I still have a way to go, but seeing that it is a path of growth and emotional fulfillment. I need to learn to communicate more clearly, with and for clients, as well as, perhaps more importantly, for myself. How can I expect others to stand up for their emotional needs if I won't do the same for my own? So, recognising that this is all a process, a journey, and being more aware of and willing to declare my own emotions will help me to commit to this work with an open heart.
I think this reading worked well and was helpful. It raised some issues I wasn't clear about, and gave me some ideas of what to change to move forward. Bet it wasn't what you expected with a central issue of the Two of Cups :D
Anyhow, I'd love to hear what you think, of both the spread and the reading. Happy Samhain!