|Edited in Be Funky|
I found this reading quite challenging, as I don't generally like "buried" or "what is hidden" positions in a spread. Still, I think this one worked out fairly well.
1) Grave Stone - what do you keep buried? The Sun
OK, not a card that I would at first expect to be "buried". Still, when I think about it, two things come to mind. Firstly, the literal association of Sun and son. My son is not someone I talk about much. Not just here on this blog, but in my life generally. And the reason for that? Well, partly because his medical issues cause me a lot of heartache. Secondly, and connected to that, I guess it's true that I have felt less sunny, less happy, angrier and darker, because of this. So, my happiness has been buried under fear, doubt, worry and, yes, anger.
2) Lighted Candle - how can you bring it to light? Ten of Disks
This card makes me think I still need to do a bit more "unpacking" of what happened in the past, and what is still happening - airing everything out. Perhaps, too, there is a need to honour the dreams of what I thought would be - how I imagined being a mother compared to how it is. I wonder, as well, this being a time of the ancestors, whether there is a message here about asking for help from my ancestors. My favourite grandmother died on October 29th about fifteen years ago, so thoughts of her are always with me at this time of year for both reasons. Perhaps a meditation on what she would tell me about this issue...
3) In the Beat of a Heart - how do you get to the heart of the matter? Seven of Wands
I get to the heart of the matter by acknowledging how defensive I feel on this subject, and how that makes me react angrily. Perhaps I also need to acknowledge my envy of others and what I perceive of as their positive situation compared to my own. I can find it quite difficult sometimes to be with mothers of healthy children, envying them the ease of their relationship with their kids, and of their life generally. I know that's not fair, that everyone faces challenges which aren't always apparent from the outside, but I still find it hard not to compare my situation unfavourably with others'.
4) Graveyard Shadows - how do you stop this casting a shadow on you? Temperance
To stop this issue casting a shadow on me, I need to find a better balance: to acknowledge the ambivalence of my feelings, and work on accepting even the emotions which I consider "negative". I notice the way that the angel and devil are starkly white and red, while the woman in the middle has multi-coloured hair. Something about blending the extremes so that I can feel more colourful, and express a variety of emotions, not just love or anger.
5) The Skeleton is Out of the Closet - how can you finally lay this skeleton to rest? The Moon
Gotta love this deck! I never noticed the werewolf in the background of this card before :) To lay this skeleton to rest I need to be able to feel at peace with the shadowy side of myself and my emotions. Maybe the werewolf suggests that sometimes I need to act out those negative emotions, to express them in a safe way (such as in therapy), so that I don't fear being suddenly overwhelmed by them. The dog at the front of the card looks so relaxed, almost as if he were lying in the sun, rather than howling at the moon. Letting the scary emotions out in a small way leaves the rest of me able to be more mellow...
It's interesting that what is buried is the Sun and what will lay it to rest is the Moon. There's something there about reflections and shadows, bringing things to light but in a moderated, gentler way.
I have to admit, this reading isn't as clear to me as my reading yesterday. However, I think that may be a combination of having difficulty with "buried" questions and also with the fact that this is a harder topic for me - hence why it's buried, I guess *d'oh* I'd be glad to hear any thoughts or interpretations...