Journey Oracle (Schiffer, 2011) reminds me of the Three of Swords. It even looks similar to that card from Emily Carding's Tarot of the Sidhe, in a much more girly way.
Still, the feeling here certainly isn't girly! Talk about having the heart ripped out of you, being all cut up, feeling empty! Unsurprisingly, it makes me think of the Natalie Imgruglia song of the same name.
In the moment, this is one of the worst feelings in the world. Yet I have always felt that the Three of Swords has a positive side, too, and the same goes here. Living through this, working through the pain and rebuilding your sense of self, is hard. Once you've achieved it, though, you're stronger for it. It makes me think of Joanna Powell-Colbert's recent post on being a member of the Scar Clan... I think many of us can empathise with that title.
Today I see one of my clients. Although he acts all tough and macho, this is how he's feeling on the inside. Hopefully, by exploring his emotions and building some new strategies for coping, he will in time heal his wounds.
Likewise, I still have some tender spots of my own. I think overall I'm stronger for them, but certainly changed. I used to wonder at people who cried at the movies: "It's only a film!" Now, I sob my heart out. It still feels weird, I don't even understand why. But I am coming to accept that this is part of the new me. What I used to see as weakness may just be that my emotions are more accessible, that I empathise more with others' pain.
I am grateful for hard lessons learned and the chance to grow.