|Radiant Rider Waite ©Poshkus|
So, why do I dislike the King of Cups? I acknowledge that there can be some very positive traits to this card, but at a gut level my first impulse is often to react against it. I think there are two different negative sets of people I associate him with.
Firstly, to me, he represents someone who thinks they are an authority figure, and who doesn't like to admit to their own emotion. These people often ridicule others for showing their feelings. Emotional bullies, basically!
For example, I think of a couple of my teachers, who would laugh at kids who got upset over exam results, or anything else that happened. The kind who'd say "Suck it up!" or "Don't be such a wimp!" One physics teacher was well-known for throwing chalk at students and saying things like: "That's the kind of answer I'd expect from my dog, and if my dog gave me that answer, I'd kick it!"
|Steampunk Tarot ©Moore & Fell|
My first stepfather, from the age of 8, was like that, too. He would say that I was pathetic because I was young, or that I should be less of a girl. "Don't just cry about it, do something!" Or else, "You're just a child, what do you know?" At the time I didn't know enough to say, "That's what I feel and I deserve to be respected as a human being." Well, I'm not sure I'm great at saying that these days, either. Though I encourage my counselling clients to honour their emotions...
Just look at the Radiant Rider Waite King of Cups. So stern-looking, and making sure to keep himself out of the water - wouldn't want to get affected by messy emotions! Or the Steampunk King of Cups, emotionally blinkered, blowing smoke to hide his own insecurity, hiding in alcohol.
|Mystic Dreamer Tarot ©Moore &Darras|
Even when an alcoholic isn't an emotional bully, many still try to drown their emotions in the bottom of a glass of wine, or whatever their tipple of choice is. The alcohol anaesthetises them to their emotions, and those of others, so they can ignore them.
I hate the fake bonhomie, the boring, repetitive anecdotes, the sense of there not really being anyone at home. There's no human contact, it's all just a facade. And as for interest in other people, in who they really are and what they feel, well, that's just not in their frame of reference.
Maybe alcoholism is a disease, maybe the alcoholic can't help it, maybe it's to do with their upbringing, what they've been through. I know all the excuses, I've heard all the justifications. But my heart is a little hard in this regard.
|Housewives Tarot ©Kepply & Buffum|
He found it really hard to deal with any emotion, so he would avoid emotional situations. If he were to tell you he loved you, that might provoke an emotional situation. So he just never said it, at least to your face. He would tell me about how wonderful my stepmum was, and my half-brothers. Made me feel like crap in comparison. Turns out he told them how wonderful I was... so we all felt bad, unloved, and jealous of one another :(
|Crystal Visions Tarot ©Galasso|
For example, in the Crystal Visions Tarot I see a King who is able to have one foot in the water, the other on dry land. He can be a part of the flow of emotions around him, but without losing his perspective, without getting swept away. That allows him to help others see their feelings and situation more clearly. It also lets him stay diplomatic.
He sits under the light of the full moon, tapping into his intuition. He gazes down at some blooming lillies, a reminder that out of the mud of emotion and chaos, beauty and truth can grow. He delights in the world he sees around him, in the people, the emotions and the wonder of life.
What about you? How do you feel about the King of Cups?