Monday, 31 December 2012

Caroline's "What Are You Most Afraid To Say About Your Life" Spread

©Vanessa Decort
Okay, so the name isn't exactly catchy, but this spread is a good one, nevertheless :)

In one of the Facebook groups I'm a part of, Alison Cross asked "what is the thing that you're most afraid to say about your life and what are you going to do about it?"  Caroline Blackler promptly came up with a spread to look at this.  

First off, you have to actually decide what it is you're most afraid to say about your life.  For me, at the moment, it's that my life feels totally out of control :(  When I say that, in part it seems ridiculous.  In many ways, I live a very regimented, organised life.  I workout pretty much every day and blog fairly punctually.  I have most of my meals about the same time every day (and for the last three months or so my breakfast has almost always been porridge with fruit, though I do sometimes vary which fruit).  This is not a chaotic life!  

However, where the problem comes, I guess, is the fact that my life's direction isn't very clear to me right now.  A year ago, I was certain I would finish my Masters, move on to the Advanced Diploma, keep seeing clients, and become a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist within at most four years.  Now, I'm not sure whether I'll do my dissertation, I've stopped seeing clients, and my focus is on creative pursuits (mainly Lenormand-based).  

Is this some kind of denial, a childish retreat into fun rather than hard work?  Or is this acknowledging my creativity and choosing a fulfilling life path?

Anyhow, having made your statement, then you draw four cards.  I decided to use the Sun and Moon Tarot (U.S. Games, 2010).

©Vanessa Decort
1) What does the tarot have to say about that - IX - The Hermit

It's a great reminder just how beautiful this deck is!  This is one of my favourite cards.  I love this hermit, dressed in orange and pink, with wild, dreaded hair, standing under an Om and other sanskrit writing. 

I guess this says I need to take some time to stop and look inward to find what it is that I really want to be doing.  This isn't something that I can just rationally choose, I need to meditate on it, to really understand my motivations.  

I also need to think about what I can offer the world - what is the light that I can shine for others?  How can I best serve?

©Vanessa Decort
2) What am I going to do about it - Prince of Wands

Eek, his wheels are on fire!  Still, I love the lion pulling his chariot, so full of strength and self-belief.  

I am going to look to what I am passionate about, to see where my energy lies.  Then, I shall move towards that with vigour and faith!

©Vanessa Decort
3) What am I too scared to admit to myself about my life - Eight of Swords

Isn't this a charming, if somewhat harsh, version of this card?  Not only is she surrounded on all sides by swords, with no obvious way out, but she is also trussed up like a puppet!

What this says to me, is that it's only my own thoughts and expectations - all those should's and shouldn'ts - that are stopping me from being happy with whatever comes.  This brings me back to one of the points I started with: I have quite an organised life.  That probably makes this area of uncertainty all the more scary for me.  

©Vanessa Decort
4) What am I going to do about that - Nine of Pentacles

What a lovely card to end the spread with, the Nine of Pentacles really is one of my favourite cards!  Though this is rather an unusual version, with a man instead of a woman.  Still, I like the way he sits in a cut-off circle within a wall.  Safe in his garden with his lovely sunflowers, but still able to see out into the wider world :)

This suggests to me that I take time to give thanks for what I do have, to appreciate what I have achieved, my creativity and strength.  It calls for a bit of perspective, and a bit of self-appreciation.  I shall certainly give it a try!


  1. Thinking of you, Chloe! Have a wonderful time tonight and I'll see you on the other side, in 2013!

    9 Pentacles is an excellent card - love those sunflowers!! Turn your face towards the light :-D

    Ali x

    1. Hi Ali,

      Thanks for the support, and you're right, I'll try to turn my face to the light :)

      Have a wonderful New Year/Hogmanay!


  2. An excellent spread. Thanks to Allison Cross, Caroline Blackler and you! I will definitely use it. I feel like in many ways I'm in the same space as you, except that I am not in school/study and deeply invested in something, which I imagine makes this all the more challenging for you, but I love the way you approached this spread and topic, and I have no doubt you'll work it out.

    I am realizing how much routine is important to me. Must be my north node in Virgo...I need that stability day to day. I like having the laundry done and having things I can count on. But there is always the wild and creative sides of us...who want expression. Good luck!


    1. Hi MM,

      I think routine keeps us grounded, especially when other things feel uncertain... Hope you do try the spread, I found it very helpful :)

      Happy New Year!

      Hugs galore,

  3. I love this spread and your interpretation of each card. I recently bought the deck altough still getting used to it. Enjoying it so far.

    I am grateful for your blog. It is part of my daily routine!

    Many wishes for the coming year to you and your loved ones.

    1. Hi Carol,

      Thank you, I'm honoured to be a part of your daily routine!

      I've had this deck for a while, not sure why I pulled it out for this reading, but it reminded me just how much I like it :)

      Best wishes for 2013!

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  5. Wow, Chloe! I've not checked in for a while so imagine my surprise at reading this. I have to say it's reassuring - as someone whose life is truly chaotic - to be (re)told that the most together-seeming people can stop and question their path from time to time.
    I feel that your Nine of Pents (god love her/him) is reminding you to to look back on your journey so far with pride - you've achieved so much and worked so hard, and the journey is never easy. Although there's a feller on your card I do feel it often indicates what is very much a 'woman's struggle' - through staying true to herself (and NOT by never making a wrong turn/pausing to reassess) the Nine achieves a sense of satisfaction and strength.
    If psychotherapy isn't your calling at this time (or ever) that's absolutely fine. You've given and learnes so much just in the learning process, all your work in this field can only provide you with even stronger foundations for wherever life takes you next.
    Beth xx

    1. Hi Little Red,

      Thanks for stopping by, I know how busy you've been. Ha ha, yes, most people say I'm good at seeming together :) And yes, I have learned a lot in this process, and saying "Not now" isn't the same as saying "Never". So I guess I'll just follow my current passions and see where they take me. I think it'll be an exciting ride :)