In one of the Facebook groups I'm a part of, Alison Cross asked "what is the thing that you're most afraid to say about your life and what are you going to do about it?" Caroline Blackler promptly came up with a spread to look at this.
First off, you have to actually decide what it is you're most afraid to say about your life. For me, at the moment, it's that my life feels totally out of control :( When I say that, in part it seems ridiculous. In many ways, I live a very regimented, organised life. I workout pretty much every day and blog fairly punctually. I have most of my meals about the same time every day (and for the last three months or so my breakfast has almost always been porridge with fruit, though I do sometimes vary which fruit). This is not a chaotic life!
However, where the problem comes, I guess, is the fact that my life's direction isn't very clear to me right now. A year ago, I was certain I would finish my Masters, move on to the Advanced Diploma, keep seeing clients, and become a UKCP Registered Psychotherapist within at most four years. Now, I'm not sure whether I'll do my dissertation, I've stopped seeing clients, and my focus is on creative pursuits (mainly Lenormand-based).
Is this some kind of denial, a childish retreat into fun rather than hard work? Or is this acknowledging my creativity and choosing a fulfilling life path?
Anyhow, having made your statement, then you draw four cards. I decided to use the Sun and Moon Tarot (U.S. Games, 2010).
It's a great reminder just how beautiful this deck is! This is one of my favourite cards. I love this hermit, dressed in orange and pink, with wild, dreaded hair, standing under an Om and other sanskrit writing.
I guess this says I need to take some time to stop and look inward to find what it is that I really want to be doing. This isn't something that I can just rationally choose, I need to meditate on it, to really understand my motivations.
I also need to think about what I can offer the world - what is the light that I can shine for others? How can I best serve?
Eek, his wheels are on fire! Still, I love the lion pulling his chariot, so full of strength and self-belief.
I am going to look to what I am passionate about, to see where my energy lies. Then, I shall move towards that with vigour and faith!
Isn't this a charming, if somewhat harsh, version of this card? Not only is she surrounded on all sides by swords, with no obvious way out, but she is also trussed up like a puppet!
What this says to me, is that it's only my own thoughts and expectations - all those should's and shouldn'ts - that are stopping me from being happy with whatever comes. This brings me back to one of the points I started with: I have quite an organised life. That probably makes this area of uncertainty all the more scary for me.
What a lovely card to end the spread with, the Nine of Pentacles really is one of my favourite cards! Though this is rather an unusual version, with a man instead of a woman. Still, I like the way he sits in a cut-off circle within a wall. Safe in his garden with his lovely sunflowers, but still able to see out into the wider world :)
This suggests to me that I take time to give thanks for what I do have, to appreciate what I have achieved, my creativity and strength. It calls for a bit of perspective, and a bit of self-appreciation. I shall certainly give it a try!