Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Loyalty

©Emily Carding
Today's card is the first from the Simple Wisdom of the Household Dog (Schiffer, 2012) in which a human is fully present, I wonder how it might affect our reading of it. 

Albus Dumbledog perches on a tall boulder, his head at the height of the man standing in front of him.  The man scratches Albus' neck, whose tongue lolls out in happiness.  Both dog and man look delighted by their situation. 

This card reminds me that loyalty is a two-way street.  The man might say Albus is loyal - coming when called, waiting patiently by the door for his humans to return.  From Albus' perspective, though, his humans are equally loyal.  They take him out for regular walks, feed him, scratch his neck and rub his tummy, throw his balls for him.

My conclusion, then, is that most often we get what we give in this regard.  Treating others with honour, respect and love will likely earn us the same.  There are exceptions, but living life this way beats most other options!

I haven't been as good in this respect as I could have been.  Today, an old friend is coming to visit with her two kids, one of whom is my godson.  Yet, I haven't seen them since before Christmas, even though we live only two stops apart on the tube.  That's the underground rail system for any non-Brit reading :)

The fault is largely my own, I know.  Part of it is that we both have busy family and work lives, but larger by far is the fact that I have often found it hard to spend time with her and her perfect children.  Obviously, no-one is really perfect, still the comparisons are sometimes painful for me, living daily with Big Boy.  Her youngest is just three months older than he is, yet the two are worlds apart.  And it might not bother me so much, except that she is very much a family-focused person.  Even when her kids aren't there, she talks about them a good deal.  Which is understandable, and yet can be difficult.  Then, I feel guilty for my envy, for the way her life highlights how different things could be.  And so I don't always reply to emails or texts as quickly as I could, I find reasons why today isn't a good day...

I am grateful for the reminder that if I want good friends, I must also be a good friend.

12 comments:

  1. It's understandable and nothing you should feel guilty about. Remember, thoughts are only thoughts. We should not judge ourselves for having them, but identify them as thoughts and release them. :) x

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    1. I agree thoughts are only thoughts, but there are also the actions, or the lack of action, they engender... Or maybe my Dear One is right, and this is just a friendship I should let drift into the mists of time...

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    2. Maybe so. It's a cost/benefit thing. If the friendship costs you too much, there's nothing wrong with letting it go.

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    3. It's a tough call. If I had met her now, I doubt we'd be friends. Yet we have so much history! I've known her since we were 16 - we went interrailing together, among other memorable holidays...

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    4. I'm only in touch with one person I knew when I was 16. Back then we were only acquaintances. But we grew together rather than apart. We have things in common, and genuine affection for each other as we are now. The people we were then...well, my 16-year-old self feels as separate to me now as if she were a different person! But if it's important to you and you only see her occasionally and if it's worth it to you, etc etc...keep in touch with her! (Not everyone leaves an entire life and ups sticks to a new country on her own, I know! My life experience is not everyone's, nor my way of seeing things. :) )

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    5. I have one friend whom I've known since I was four, and we're still close. But that's about it. And yet, I did keep in touch with this person, even when I moved to Spain for 8 years... or maybe she kept in touch with me. Well, no decisions today :)

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  2. I am sure I would feel the same way if I was you in that position. I think we all have envy and other difficult feelings in certain relationships...some more than others. Maybe this could be something you could talk to her about? I guess it depends on how comfortable you feel with her. Sometimes the best way to deal with these feelings is be open about it. Sometimes people respond really well to our struggles. Then again, I don't blame you at all for not wanting to air all that.

    I really appreciate reading your honest thoughts on these things!

    Much love,
    MM

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    1. You're probably right, MM, that I should just talk with her about it. I guess part of the problem is that I'm just not sure we're even close enough to have that kind of conversation. As I say, if we'd met now I doubt we'd be friends - we have so little in common...

      Much love to you, too!
      Cxxx

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    2. I absolutely understand what you mean. I struggle with knowing what/how to say things to people, especially people I'm unsure of or don't know if there's much being the acquaintanceship of it all.

      It's pretty vulnerable being human.

      Faintingly Yours,
      MM

      p.s. Not really--but I do have a sinus headache from this cold. Starting to get my sense of taste back anyway...

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    3. Sorry to hear about the sinus headache - have you checked out a neti pot, yet? At least being able to tast things again is a big plus :D
      Cxxx

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    4. Here's my first experience with a neti pot -- from my old blog --

      http://dharmadishes.blogspot.co.uk/2008/07/wait-minute-you-want-me-to-pour-what-up.html

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    5. Thanks for sharing that, Carla! I really enjoyed reading it - and it was fun to see your old blog, too :D Can't believe that blogger has updated the template, so it's actually the same as here on Inner Whispers! I really should do something custom one of these days...

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