|By W. Crane & E. Fitzpatrick|
A woman wearing a crown and a long, flowing pink dress walks off the step of what could be a throne. She holds out her right arm as though in supplication: a reaching out without much hope of the person coming back. Her left hand rests on a wall painted with small, leafy plants. Four horn-like flowers peer in the same direction as the woman, stretching up above the wall. Above her are nine swords, alternating between point up and point down.
This could, I suppose, be the woman's nightmare. Stuck forever brimming over with longing, unfulfilled despite the trappings of wealth, beauty and power.
Certainly, this card also offers interpretations besides the traditional insomnia and churning thoughts. The neat row of swords could suggest our thoughts being at counterpoint to one another: so many thoughts, yet leading nowhere as one negates the next. We could also go with longing, heartache, despondency, or even giving up what you have for the sake of an ephemeral dream. She seems thoroughly at the mercy of life, moving without conscious thought nor preparation.
What I've been longing for this week is less uncertainty and better health for Big Boy. Yet, talking with my therapist yesterday, I realised that I probably have to face the fact that there will always be uncertainty and health issues to be dealt with. So, at a more practical level, perhaps I should plan for not being able to commit to other things and to strict deadlines. My time suddenly seems to vanish when Big Boy gets ill and I act as his point person organising appointments, referrals, prescriptions and care. Being prepared may include factoring this into what I choose to do and how I choose to do it...
I am grateful to be able to make choices about what I commit to.